I am sure every sweet lady reading this, has day dreamed about a shiny and lavish gift from their love drunk husband (or maybe received one). Or maybe you’ve day dreamed for just a loving husband. Maybe your husband doesn’t know how to love you the way you want to be loved (which you should probably tell him, because we men aren’t too bright… in fact we are really oblivious to feelings and overall extremely dumb). Who knows, maybe you don’t treat him the way that he wants to be treated, causing a vicious cycle, which leads to no shiny and lavish gifts from your love drunk husband. I digress… sorry.
Here is the deal ladies, expensive gifts only show love if it is on top of lots of loving action. No, not the loving act that takes place in your bed, or shower, or closet, or car, or in the woods, or in your in-law’s house. I am talking about all of the little acts of love. If your man doesn’t do the small things that take effort, then the big thing is out of laziness. I know this to be true, because I have done both.
It was not until our little family hit a rough patch financially that I realized how lazy it is to just buy my wife expensive gifts for any/all of the major holidays. During the time of not having two nickels to rub together, I quite literally was unable to buy a gift for a few major gift giving days of celebration. I do mean major! We were too broke for me to buy her an anniversary present, and the little I had to spend on her Birthday and Christmas was pitiful.
It broke my heart.
How would she know that I loved her without a nice gift from me to show that love? I’m sure you all know where this is going, but it took crazy bad circumstances for the truth to be beat into my head. That truth was that every single day was a day to celebrate our love (not just one stupid day that starts with a V). So, without money I decided to take action! Let me repeat that last word slowly… A-C-T-I-O-N (cool slow-mo voice).
Basically, my philosophy became; ‘If it’s something I don’t really want to do, then I need to do it’.
I cleaned up after myself at every chance.
I asked her if she needed things when I was up.
I took the trash out without being asked.
I stopped pretending I couldn’t read her facial expressions, and engaged with her.
I changed more diapers, and fixed more bottles.
I went on walks with her.
I supported her passions and pushed her further than she had ever been pushed.
I listened with greater focus.
I slowed to anger and quickened to empathize.
I spent more time with God so I could learn what love is really supposed to look like, and that’s sacrifice. Sacrifice is the greatest gift you can give anyone, and the proof is in God’s greatest showing of love with the sacrifice of His own Son for our sins.
I don’t say these things to call your husband out, because you might (probably) be as guilty as he is. But I say these things because sometimes we need reminders. We need reminders that it took doing all of the small stuff to attract our spouse, and we shouldn’t stop because it’s easy to stop. Nothing great in life comes easy, but takes work, a lot of work.
While I do hope to buy my wife nice things in the future, I truly hope that I don’t get lazy with the acts of love in her daily life.