Initiating Rant… in 3…2….1… GO!
I do not want to throw a blanket statement out into the universe, such as; “Millennials are awful little human beings.”
Oops, I just did. I really don’t mean it… well, yeah… I really do.
I am serious, there are very few “adults” (used loosely) under the age of 25 that are not complete dolts. I do know a few, so not all of you in that age range can get upset, but if my description below sounds like you and you are wondering; “He’s not talking about me, is he?” Then OH YEAH! I am talking about you.
Just kidding, not everything is about you. Gezz.
Actually, this is not about you at all. It’s about your parents. For the sake of the United States, the world, our children, and their children, and their children’s children, we have to figure out where these parents went wrong!
We have to reverse course immediately!
Who or what is a Millennial?
No one knows for sure, but advitisers would pay you a billion dollars if you could pinpoint exactly what these creatures think and want.
It is time for me to get my filthy judging out of the way for the week.
Here is what we know:
- The boys look more like girls, and the girls look more like boys. Confused yet? Yeah, me too! If they catch me saying that, then they will use a social media program that is designed to send hate mail from thousands of fake accounts. Social justice sista!
- They are too poor to buy a car, so they act like they never wanted one in the first place. They buy the most vintage bicycle, because the 1960’s rocked, and don’t forget their sweet satchels, man purses, gender-neutral stuff carriers that are empty because stuff would be a total representation of capitalism which they are 100% against (unless it says apple. iBag, iBike, iNonRXglasses).
- These lil’ weirdo’s grew up believing everything they were told in school! Can you believe that?? They protest making money, but never once do they look at who teaches them to hate money versus those who make it. It’s poor ‘liberal’ teachers that teach the youth about the horribly greedy money monsters, stealing from the poor and keeping it all to themselves.
- How can I say this without really ticking off some teachers?? Will it help if I say that I love you? Nope… hmmm. Okay, here is the thing, most teachers are no smarter than me, and I should never be in charge of teaching 30+ kids! Trust me, I had MANY classes with them in college, and they weren’t that impressive. Don’t believe me? My major was Human Development and Family Studies, aka, teacher’s galore degree. So, while I love teachers, and their hearts, and the amount of guff they get for very little pay, they aren’t the brightest colors in the crayon box. Think about it logically. They know full well that they are not going to make very much money. They go into teaching anyway. They know full well that the kids will treat them like crap, and very little reward is obtainable. They teach anyway. They know that they can not sneeze wrong, or the school may fire them. They also know that they will hate most of the other teachers. They also know that cut backs and more cut backs will make their job impossible. They know all of these things and they still do it. SO, OF COURSE THEY RESENT CAPITALISM AND PEOPLE WHO MAKE MONEY. Teachers should be making bank teaching these little monsters, I mean adorables, but they do not. College professors are one million times worse. Why? Well they think they are one million times smarter than the millionaires and billionaires, so they must have cheated the system or been given advantages along the way because they are so inferior on an intellectual level. Ummm… riiiiiiigggghhhhttt.
- The millennials also have been taught by the most liberal of all professions, that socialism works. What? No! You cannot be serious! Yep, it’s true. All problems are solved by taking more money from those stupid, cheating, undeserving rich people. Do they teach basic economics anymore? Do they teach history anymore? Or has the history been re-written just in the last 10 years since I’ve been away?
- Millennials also are nasty little buggers. Why do they need long-term relationships when they can sext, snapchat some nudes, tinder some meaningless sex? Why get married? Only stupid people get married, because they will just get divorced. I want to be financially stable before getting married, or having kids. I was once told that if you wait to be financially stable to have kids, then you’ll never have kids. Wise sage.
- Millennials love to share. That sounds nice. Wait just a second. They share everything because they are all working minimum wage jobs, complaining about how unfair it is that rich people have so much, and they so little. Share away little ones.
- Millennials just drive me crazy, ok? They really do. So many of them don’t believe in hard work, or being responsible for their own circumstances. Everything that is bad in their life is someone else’s fault.
- I’d also argue that the belief in evolutionary theory as the sole explanation for life being taught in school, has made the most Godless generation we have ever seen. Not only are they Godless, but the ones that have chosen to believe in god, do not believe in the God of the Bible. They omit the portions of His character that they don’t understand or like. They put words into God’s mouth that are horrid. They make up their own beliefs based on temporary societal trends, and cherry pick scripture that agrees. So foolish.
- They are the generation of blame, and the gimme free stuff now! That’s them. I hope I am wrong, but it’s what I see. It scares the crap out of me.
That’s who they are, from what I can tell. Now, parents of these monsters; PLEASE tell us with young children where you screwed up! Please, for the love of all things good and for the hope of a future, tell us.
Did you say yes to them too many times?
Did you get lazy and selfish and pay more attention to TV shows then your kids?
Did you not care enough to question the teachings of the state?
Did you think everyone getting a participation trophy was okay?
Did you not take them to church?
Were you too afraid to spank them, in fear of those lil monsters calling the cops on you?
Did you go easy on them because your parents were so hard on you? Don’t you think that might be why you turned out so good?
Please!!! Tell us what you did wrong!?
Please, I beg you.