Parents of Millennials: Please Tell Us How You Screwed Up!

Initiating Rant… in 3…2….1… GO!

I do not want to throw a blanket statement out into the universe, such as; “Millennials are awful little human beings.”

Oops, I just did. I really don’t mean it… well, yeah… I really do.

I am serious, there are very few “adults” (used loosely) under the age of 25 that are not complete dolts. I do know a few, so not all of you in that age range can get upset, but if my description below sounds like you and you are wondering; “He’s not talking about me, is he?” Then OH YEAH! I am talking about you.

Just kidding, not everything is about you. Gezz.

Actually, this is not about you at all. It’s about your parents. For the sake of the United States, the world, our children, and their children, and their children’s children, we have to figure out where these parents went wrong!

We have to reverse course immediately!


Who or what is a Millennial?

No one knows for sure, but advitisers would pay you a billion dollars if you could pinpoint exactly what these creatures think and want.

It is time for me to get my filthy judging out of the way for the week.

Here is what we know:

  • The boys look more like girls, and the girls look more like boys. Confused yet? Yeah, me too! If they catch me saying that, then they will use a social media program that is designed to send hate mail from thousands of fake accounts. Social justice sista!


  • They are too poor to buy a car, so they act like they never wanted one in the first place. They buy the most vintage bicycle, because the 1960’s rocked, and don’t forget their sweet satchels, man purses, gender-neutral stuff carriers that are empty because stuff would be a total representation of capitalism which they are 100% against (unless it says apple. iBag, iBike, iNonRXglasses).


  • These lil’ weirdo’s grew up believing everything they were told in school! Can you believe that?? They protest making money, but never once do they look at who teaches them to hate money versus those who make it. It’s poor ‘liberal’ teachers that teach the youth about the horribly greedy money monsters, stealing from the poor and keeping it all to themselves.
    • How can I say this without really ticking off some teachers?? Will it help if I say that I love you? Nope… hmmm. Okay, here is the thing, most teachers are no smarter than me, and I should never be in charge of teaching 30+ kids! Trust me, I had MANY classes with them in college, and they weren’t that impressive. Don’t believe me? My major was Human Development and Family Studies, aka, teacher’s galore degree. So, while I love teachers, and their hearts, and the amount of guff they get for very little pay, they aren’t the brightest colors in the crayon box. Think about it logically. They know full well that they are not going to make very much money. They go into teaching anyway. They know full well that the kids will treat them like crap, and very little reward is obtainable. They teach anyway. They know that they can not sneeze wrong, or the school may fire them. They also know that they will hate most of the other teachers. They also know that cut backs and more cut backs will make their job impossible. They know all of these things and they still do it. SO, OF COURSE THEY RESENT CAPITALISM AND PEOPLE WHO MAKE MONEY. Teachers should be making bank teaching these little monsters, I mean adorables, but they do not. College professors are one million times worse. Why? Well they think they are one million times smarter than the millionaires and billionaires, so they must have cheated the system or been given advantages along the way because they are so inferior on an intellectual level. Ummm… riiiiiiigggghhhhttt.


  • The millennials also have been taught by the most liberal of all professions, that socialism works. What? No! You cannot be serious! Yep, it’s true. All problems are solved by taking more money from those stupid, cheating, undeserving rich people. Do they teach basic economics anymore? Do they teach history anymore? Or has the history been re-written just in the last 10 years since I’ve been away?
  • Millennials also are nasty little buggers. Why do they need long-term relationships when they can sext, snapchat some nudes, tinder some meaningless sex? Why get married? Only stupid people get married, because they will just get divorced. I want to be financially stable before getting married, or having kids. I was once told that if you wait to be financially stable to have kids, then you’ll never have kids. Wise sage.
  • Millennials love to share. That sounds nice. Wait just a second. They share everything because they are all working minimum wage jobs, complaining about how unfair it is that rich people have so much, and they so little. Share away little ones.
  • Millennials just drive me crazy, ok? They really do. So many of them don’t believe in hard work, or being responsible for their own circumstances. Everything that is bad in their life is someone else’s fault.
  • I’d also argue that the belief in evolutionary theory as the sole explanation for life being taught in school, has made the most Godless generation we have ever seen. Not only are they Godless, but the ones that have chosen to believe in god, do not believe in the God of the Bible. They omit the portions of His character that they don’t understand or like. They put words into God’s mouth that are horrid. They make up their own beliefs based on temporary societal trends, and cherry pick scripture that agrees. So foolish.
  • They are the generation of blame, and the gimme free stuff now! That’s them. I hope I am wrong, but it’s what I see. It scares the crap out of me.

That’s who they are, from what I can tell. Now, parents of these monsters; PLEASE tell us with young children where you screwed up! Please, for the love of all things good and for the hope of a future, tell us.

Did you say yes to them too many times?

Did you get lazy and selfish and pay more attention to TV shows then your kids?

Did you not care enough to question the teachings of the state?

Did you think everyone getting a participation trophy was okay?

Did you not take them to church?

Were you too afraid to spank them, in fear of those lil monsters calling the cops on you?

Did you go easy on them because your parents were so hard on you? Don’t you think that might be why you turned out so good?

Please!!! Tell us what you did wrong!?

Please, I beg you.




3 thoughts on “Parents of Millennials: Please Tell Us How You Screwed Up!

  1. I know we’ve spoken about it before, but I want to reiterate how cool it is that we can be BBFL while having such different viewpoints. You would think, on paper, we’d have so little in common based on some of our beliefs being opposite, and it just makes my heart happy to connect with someone who theoretically is “so different” from me… and yet we still share plenty of the same thoughts and feelings. (Did any of that made sense? I haven’t finished my coffee yet)

    ANYWAY! This post resonated with me. I am TECHNICALLY a millennial, though I think I’ve may have made the cut off just by the skin of my teeth. BUT I’m 26 and frequently frustrated because I get belittled by my peers for having a “real” 9-5 job. Most of my friends don’t work full time, don’t support themselves financially, think it’s dumb I’m married, they live at home with their parents, they seem to avoid joining the workforce by acquiring more and more degrees, etc. etc. etc. and it’s totally infuriating. I feel completely stuck between people saying “live your dreams! do what you want! f society! who cares about money!” and people saying the opposite and it’s so hard to figure out the best balance between the two.

    But I really respect your viewpoint- and I especially appreciate your spin on this being about the parents. Truly refreshing to have someone actually accept that something did make us this way…. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shelbi! My BBFL!! It looks like we both fell off the planet around the same time. I haven’t logged into WordPress in 30 days or so. I do not know how I missed this comment, but I am glad that I stumbled across it.

      It totally made sense. I feel the same way. We might be polar opposites, but you mentioned your heart, and love versus hate can bring friendship to all who seek it.

      I’m glad it resonated with someone, I regretted posting it, thinking I was too offensive. Luckily, you are not easily offended. I’m technically a millennial too, according to most definitions and I am 31 which is the cut off (a generation is every 21 years apparently). You should take the belittling as a compliment. Any person that tears another down, is just attempting to make themselves feel better. Notice that I said tear down, as in you are above them, and they want to bring you down. You may not think or feel above them, but that is how they view you, or they wouldn’t belittle you. You have something they desire or that makes them feel insecure… in this case a 9-5 job! Work is really hard to find nowadays, so don’t believe they wouldn’t take a stable/lucrative 9-5 job if they could. Again, you have something they want, but cannot achieve (yet), so they belittle your job while touting their freedom with a part time job and living at home with mom and dad. They just keep complimenting you, because everyone wants love. The true love that you’ve already found (and married), and if they found it, they would get married no matter their age. People who acquire more and more degree’s are afraid of life in my opinion. College is the last safe place before the real world. It’s the last place they can fail in a safe environment. What you make of yourself out in the world says more about your character and ability to grow as a human, because you determine your fate out there. In college someone else tells you what you should think through teaching, whereas the real world is a self taught environment. You learn through trying, failing, adjusting, and trying again. It’s scary. It’s all your own merits. That is exactly why so many multiple degree students never leave academia… their safe place. That’s also why academic’s despise the rich, aka the people who had the guts to go out in the real world and achieve their dreams by fighting through their failures, when they themselves could muster the moxie!
      Living your dream is doing what you want! I agree with f-society, but only a fool doesn’t acknowledge the structures of society so they can navigate through it on their way to achieving their dreams. People who say they don’t care about money are complete liars. You want to know how I know that?? If you were to offer that person a million dollars, no strings attached, they would take it every time. Again, people belittle and tear down the things they want and haven’t yet gotten.

      If I had a billion dollars in the bank, I would still want to write novels. If I were penniless and homeless, I’d still want to write novels. Rich or poor, you should pursue your dreams. If your pursuit of money ever eliminates your pursuit of your dream, then that’s when you want to find balance. Yet, not pursuing money at all would be so foolish, and here is why: with money and success, your dreams get bigger, more things become possible. Say a girl’s dream is to open a sandwich shop, and she achieves it. What happens when you achieve a dream? You make another, or make the original dream bigger. Now she has the money and wants to open a 2nd, then 3rd location, and does. Then 10 years later she has a national chain worth a billion. She achieved a dream so big that she could never fathom it in a million years when she was trying to open that first shop. The pursuit of success and money are not bad, they just make small dreams grow freakishly big and more abundant. Now who wouldn’t want to achieve BIG dreams? A person who doesn’t have a bike will dream of getting a bike and work towards that dream. A person with a bike but no car will dream of getting a car and work towards that dream. And so on. Yet, the guy with no bike doesn’t make the immediate jump to working towards achieving a dream of getting a private jet right off the bat. My point is, the more you have, the more you can achieve, so wanting more is not bad, but good. (a hidden lesson in capitalism, lol)
      Another way to put it is, live your dreams, do what you want (which is pursue your dreams), f society (because they want what you have), and care about money so you can live your dreams.

      I hope that helped, and more importantly I hope I didn’t just confuse you more. You can have it all, but only with money.

      Thanks for even reading my stuff, and taking the time to comment. You are awesome!


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