Is it Okay for a Woman to Need a Man in Today’s Culture?

I had an interesting conversation with an older gentleman the other day, and it made me realize something about what feminism has done to modern day relationships. Okay… I didn’t realize anything, but did observe a very interesting occurrence between a man’s need for a woman versus a woman’s need for a man.

Here is the main point; it’s okay for a man to say that he needs a woman, but it is not okay for a woman to say she needs a man.

Why?

I’ve heard more men than I can count or remember, including myself, say something like “I’d be dead without my wife” or “I’d be a fat slob, that smelled like a dumpster if I were single.”

Sure, it may be said with a joking manner, but it has a ton of truth to it and we men know that about each other.

Men need our women and here’s why:

  1. Men forget to take care of themselves. Simple tasks that include hygiene, nutrition, sleep, mental and emotional health breaks, and a long list of other life tasks.
  • This doesn’t mean we are not capable of completing these simple tasks, it just means we are easily distracted from doing them consistently.
  • No we don’t view women as a mother-type that takes care of us, though women are natural nurturers which is super-duper nice!
  • Simply, women notice when we are being inconsistent, and they help remind us, because they love us and we love ’em for it and soooo much more!
  • Thank goodness for that! We appreciate the women in our lives that do this for us. Society thanks them too! Trust me… your sense of smell could not handle the odors that would consume the earth in a dense green vomit fog.

2. Men have a natural sense to be problem solvers and providers, but we can be fairly extreme in our efforts, which can have negative effects. Our women usually keep us grounded when the stress is unbearable.

  • A lot of men are workaholics, but our women are either supportive and appreciative of our efforts, or rein us back in to live a normal life focusing on what is truly important.
  • The stress that we men sometimes feel, can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms like the bottle or worse.
  • If we didn’t have our amazing cheerleaders to be our support system, then some of us would ruin our lives or worse… end up dead. It sounds crazy, but it is true. I’ve heard many men relay that sentiment.

The list can really go on and on.

Here’s the weird part…

Men openly and freely admit this to one another and to our women, without fear of being ridiculed or being emasculated in private or public. It’s common sense for us. It’s truth, and we do not fear the truth in this situation.

Yet, for a woman in today’s world, such an admittance is viewed as being weak and as an attack on feminism.

“I don’t NEED a man!” Is preached like a battle cry to all women.

Again, I ask…Why?

Of course you don’t need a man, and I don’t need a woman… but I’d be lying if I said it. So, are women lying when they say it?

I’m truly curious.

I wonder how many women would actually say that they ALSO need their significant other as badly as we men do.

Wouldn’t real feminism allow a woman the freedom to be strong and equal to a man, but still need one?

Can men and woman really be equal in all things? Should they be? Do we not have different qualities that aide the other and create a strong team that tackles this crazy life?

I guess I am saying; “WE NEED EACH OTHER!”

Why is there a stigma for women to say this when that same stigma does not exist on the man-side?

I’d really love your thoughts on this, so PLEASE comment and help explain it to this caveman.

~JB

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5 thoughts on “Is it Okay for a Woman to Need a Man in Today’s Culture?

  1. Great conversation and food for thought. I am “old school” and I know that I need Stan and he needs me. And, I’m not ashamed, embarrassed or even afraid to shout it from the rooftops. Maybe that comes from many years of being together and going through all the ups and down that we have been so blessed with. I need Stan because we lean on each other when we have to. We hold the other one up, when we need it. I trust in knowing that someone is there to catch me when I fall and he’s always there to catch me with open arms. He leads the way when I’m afraid. He is willing to walk behind me, when I am is sure of the way, and we walk hand in hand when neither of us are sure. Together, we find the path. I just don’t need A man, I need my man. Always and forever.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Incredibly well said Sue. Maybe you should have the blog. I’d read everyday!
      Samantha and I are the same way, but traditional family structures are apparently not the norm any longer, especially the stay at home mom aspect. Are desires and values align perfectly, so we will continue to be true to ourselves. Thanks for your comment and congratulations on having a wonderful partner in Stan. Much love to you both and your family.

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      1. Thanks. It works for us after 27 beautiful years. Wishing you and Samantha the same continued love and commitment. You two are doing it right. Don’t ever ever doubt that. Your daughter deserves that. Sending love and hugs.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I think about this often, actually! I often feel this from both sides… I’m definitely a feminist, and I absolutely have the “I don’t need MEN!” gene (I’ve been known to make sweeping generalizations like “why can’t we just put them all underground!!!?”), but on the other hand… I need my husband for SO many things. Even just on the surface level, it feels like I’m “supposed” to do everything for myself, and I actually feel cognitive dissonance when I have to ask him to do things I ‘can’t’ — whether it’s smaller things like changing lightbulbs and reaching high shelves for me, or bigger stuff like putting together IKEA furniture and doing home repair. I actually LOVE having a husband and that he can do all the stereotypical “man” stuff around the house, but I feel like I am absolutely NOT allowed to admit that out loud. I feel so much societal pressure to not even so much as allow a door to be opened for me by a man because WHO NEEDS ‘EM, RIGHT?!

    It also sucks that feminism has become such a man-hating misconception in society. It makes me feel like a bad feminist that I’m even married! I’ve had people tell me I can’t even BE a feminist because I’m married, which is ridonkulous. There’s equality in my household, and that’s what matters, but I wish societally that I felt less like a failure for NEEDING my husband at all.

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    1. You discribed exactly what I feel like is going on with current Feminism. Forgive me if this if offensive, but I see Feminism in today’s society as hypocrytical. The agenda is for equality, yet it’s current method of trying to achieve it is divisive andoften hate fueled. If a ideological belief is centered around fairness and inclusion, then why are current Feminist trying to separate and exclude?
      Feminist from a ways back still celebrated the attributes that made them women. Nowadays if you do anything “traditional”, you are labele anti-feminism. My wife is a perfect example:She is a stay at home mom by choice. She wants to raise our child and actually spend time with her, and nurture her into the best person our daughter can be. Yet, she feels push back when she tells another woman she doesn’t work (though she works her ass off more than most paying jobs). She’s almost embarassed to tell anyone. I ask why? Shouldn’t a real feminist support other women in whatever choices they make about their life? Shouldn’t they celebrate having the choice to work or not, because that was a part of the original movement.
      I have many issues with current feminism, but I would say that I am a traditional feminist which is not good enough nowadays.
      As for the opening of doors… I hold them for men too.
      I think it is silly that men honoring women as creatures of grace, civility, and love with simple gestures like holding the door for them is considered sexist.
      Why do woman not want to be put on a pedostal? Why don’t they want to be given seats on the bus or subway? We are honoring women when we do that. We know you can stand, come on. We know you can open a freaking door.

      Why is common curtousy a vile act now?

      I despise the man hating. I despise the divisiveness. I despise some of the illogical thinking behind current stands.

      When should be equal and treated as equals in comparison to men. But celebrate the differences and appreciate kindness for what it is, and they would be much happier. That’s just my opinion.

      Thank you so much for your comment! You are awesome.

      Like

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